What We Learned From These Ugly Celebrity Spouses

Jackman and his wife. We just love you, Hugh.

Imagine you finally make it; you’re rich, gorgeous, fit and everyone wants a piece of you. When you finally get married you choose someone who… isn’t as hot as you? Something doesn’t add up here.

These celebrities are the 10’s that married 6’s (if that) and while we can’t help but cringe at each of these photos, we’re wondering if something else is happening behind the scenes that we don’t know about.

The Funny Guy

Sascha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher
Isla Fisher cosies up to Cohen on the red carpet.

There’s something about a dude who’s funny that just makes you loosen up. Maybe that’s what super babe Isla Fisher saw in Sacha Baron Cohen’s homely mug when they first met. Many comedians end up scoring mega babes like Cohen did, but we’re wondering if it’s more than just his sense of humour that’s keeping Fisher so captivated. When it comes down to it, funny guys just make you feel comfortable with their quick wit and foul tongues. And if Borat may have a few sexy tricks up his speed to go with that English accent we don’t blame Fisher for keeping him around.

Borat-speedo
While we hate this speedo look, we love a guy who can make his girl laugh and then make her cum. Thumbs up, Borat!

Beauty and the Geek

Beaty and the Geek on the red carpet.
Beaty and the Geek on the red carpet.

Now for awkward couple number two, we have Mad Men bombshell Christina Hendricks and her unknown husband Geoffrey Arend who is an American actor and voice actor. We suspect that he’s packing a ginormous… vocabulary. Or maybe she’s packing some S&M gear as the dominant partner in the relationship. Femdom or female dominatrix are more common than you think, and they help the sub (submissive party) get their rocks off by bossing them around reminding them who’s boss.

When you're a bombshell like Christina Hendricks, your man better beg for it.
When you’re a bombshell like Christina Hendricks, your man better beg for it.

Married to the Bank

Salma Hayek has got nothing to worry about with her billionaire husband at her side.
Salma Hayek has got nothing to worry about with her billionaire husband at her side.

Salma Hayek and François-Henri Pinault are not playing around. Married since 2009, Pineault had previously been involved with Linda Evangelista before settling down with Mexican babe Salma Hayek. They have a four year old daughter and a hell of a lot of money. Valued at $15 billion by Forbes, Pineault is the ugly dude anyone would want to marry.

We would do this if we were in Hayek's shoes.
We would do this if we were in Hayek’s shoes.

You’re probably still in shock about how much he is worth. It’s OK, it’s a normal reaction.

The MILF

Jackman and his wife. We just love you, Hugh.
Jackman and his wife. We just love you, Hugh.

The crown really belongs to Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborra Lee-Furness who is an Australian actress and producer more than 13 years his senior. The couple was married in 1996 when Jackman was at the ripe age of 27 years old, which means he already knew a thing or two in bed that impressed a woman of age 40. The dynamic is pretty shocking compared to most Hollywood marriages that seem to last a total of 22 minutes, but we might all just be a bit jealous of the now 60 year old Lee-Furness who gets to do whatever she wants to Hugh Jackman. This couple must be taking it to another level in the bedroom, we bet Lee-Furness can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

Who are you trying to convince, Hugh?
Who are you trying to convince, Hugh?

With this couple going on twenty years of marriage, we sure this guy is getting a lot of service for his hard work. 

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